My Father Bear

So, I was watching T.V today and an episode of 'Scrubs' made me cry for what felt like a stupidly long time. It was the one where JD's dad dies and he doesn't really know how to cope and it got me thinking about my Dad.
To explain, my dad was diagnosed with COPD, which wikipedia says is a progressive narrowing of the airways leading to the lungs. The prognosis of COPD is not always fatal but because of my dads diabetes leading to him being overweight and his breathing issues making it difficult for him to exercise, theres a likelyhood that he'll be gone in the next 20 years. I realise 20 years sounds like a really long time, and it really is!! But having a date placed on it seems to really upset me.
I dont suppose it would be as bad if i was still living at home so I could spend loads of time with him. But now he lives in Scotland, so it's difficult to simply pop home to see him. Its a 100 pound train journey short notice.
Then when I am with him, it makes me even sadder. To see his vast amount of drugs he has to take spread out in the kitchen. Or to see how frustrated he gets when hes out of breath walking up the stairs. Or to simply be sitting next to him watching T.V and hear how difficult it is for him to breathe.
The truth is, I can't bare the thought of life without my Dad. He not like some of my friends parents, who they lie to or don't really like to see. I love my Dad and spending time with him. I tell him everything, even the goriest details about how drunk I'd gotten the night before. He really is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He's so positive about me, even when I'm not sure about myself. He's never ever put pressure on me and only ever tells me to try my hardest. He does things like sends me milk bottles in the post because I mentioned in passing that I had a dream about them, or drives for 4 hours to see me when my drink got spiked.
Its moments like this that I am 100% that a God doesnt exist. Beacause surely a God would make some sense of equality? What did my Dad do to deserve this illness? What did my step-mum ever do to lose the man that she loves so much to stay with him through all his crap? And what did I ever do to lose my favorate person in the whole world?
I guess nothing that I say is going to change it. But I just wanted to get that off my chest.