Diary entry from 2003

[AN EXTRACT FROM A DIARY I KEPT WHEN I WAS 13. SUFFICE TO SAY I HAVEN'T CHANGED MUCH... ]


Monday 2nd August

9.00pm

Today I am feeling new levels of lowness. I feel as though, it being the summer holidays, I should be doing something more productive but I just end up waking up late and watching TV. Though I do have to say day TV is incredibly boring! I mean, I woke up this morning to find countdown on. Countdown! I mean honestly if they know the British public but at all, they’d know bloody well that the majority is exactly like me. Couch potatoes that do not appreciate Friend’s episodes being taken over by “test cricket” whatever the hell that is. To be honest I think this lowness might have something to do with missing my best friend Helen. She’s gone away for three weeks, and now I really understand how much my life falls apart without her. I mean firstly Adam is being a prick. Well I suppose it’s not so much him but probably his stupid friends who seem to find it hilarious that I actually fancy Adam. Suppose they have a point. I don’t even know why I fancy him. He’s not the first. I liked Jamie for ages then realized he was a prick. I seem to be forming a pattern here. Maybe I should just swear off guys for life and just adopt children. You know become one of those career driven women. I’d get a lot more done.

10pm

In bed thinking about how incredibly sad my life is. Im thirteen and im speaking as though I’ve had a couple of illegitimate children and a divorce. I haven’t had either. I haven’t even had a proper boyfriend. God I suppose im destined to be bitter and twisted for the rest of my life. I keep thinking that I might actually end up lonely forever but then I think wont marriage just be boring? You know waking up to the same face everyday has to shock you back to reality. If I were much older and smoked then I reckon id be dying for a fag right now. Though I don’t suppose ill ever smoke having not had good experiences with it in my past. My dad used to smoke and I’d spend the weekend with him. By the end I’d be wheezing. But its not his fault because I realized that it was just hay fever. Which actually has no relevance. Hmm… no wonder im single.

11.00

Can’t sleep. Usually I watch friends in bed and it soothes me but right now I don’t think a horse pill could knock me out. I just keep going over loads of things in my head again and again. You know, the small things people say that aren’t supposed to offend but do? Well now I keep wondering if I have done that and not meant to. I keep racking my brain to try and think but then realized how am I meant to know? God im so silly, I worry about everything. Im only a teenager and I think I give my self-peer pressure. That’s got to say something. Im just going to lie here all night thinking how to apologize for being so selfish

11.05
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………..

Tuesday 3rd July

11.am

Usual wake up time. I am dreading going down stairs in case countdown is really on and have urges to shoot TV. I make my lunch, having slept through breakfast and go and sit down. Just then my mobile bleeps to say I have a text. I dive at my phone in hope its Adam buts its just Amy saying goodbye since she’s off to Cornwall today. Now I feel even more alone. I put down my sandwich realizing I have lost my appetite, pick out “10 things I hate about you” and go and watch it in my own lovely bed.

12.30am

Why cant lives be something like the movies? Why cant I have some fit Australian bloke after me? Life is so unfair! I ring Amanda to see what she’s up to. She was out last night and I want to see if I missed anything interesting. I haven’t been allowed out on Fridays for a while

Short Movie Reviews [Take 2]

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call- New Orleans: No real storyline but yet kind of fascinating. Nicolas cage acting the best I've ever seen him. Watch out for the dancing soul. Alot of drugs.

Nightmare on Elm Street: Standard teen slasher flick but the first film in a long time to actually scare me. V. jumpy. Interesting back story to Freddie.

Iron Man 2: I love RDJ. More fun than the first one. Loved RDJ dancing in the suit. Hints 2 Thor & Captain America = v.exciting! Wait till after credits.

Date Night: Not as funny as I wanted it to be. Still love Tina Fey. Very watchable but not one to go down in comedy history

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Things I have seen around Cardiff

Prompted by a dead mouse I just found under my sofa [yes Tash & Shelley, here is the picture AGAIN]



I decided to write a blog about the strange things I have come across since living in Cardiff (or at least the ones I have photographic proof of...)

The Racist Number Plate:



At least nobody is going to question who they are voting for...

The cast-off Condom:



Speaks for itself.

The Kinky Corner Shop:



They don't do whips and chains. I asked.

The 'Special' bus:



Nobody was on it except one guy.

The AWESOME shop name:



Cardiff Weather:



Says alot, really.

The cartoon Love story:



Shelley and I first saw just one by itself but it turns out there are a couple dotted aorund and they tell a story of how these cartoon whatever-they-are falling in love <3

Life Quotes

Why put off tomorrow what you can do today?

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Dream a if you'll live forever. Dream as if you'll die today.

Laugh as much as you can breathe and love as long as you live.

The most important things in life aren't things.

Never waste a minute of your precious life thinking about people you don't like.

Our attitude towards life determines it's attitude toward us.

Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

I strongly suggest you have a mantra. When my day gets a little bit tough, I read these and at least one of them makes me feel better <3

The Best of...

It was 1am. My brother was attempting to go to sleep but instead of letting him go to bed I distracted him with the following questions. These were the results:

Best Kiss:

The first of Christopher's was the kiss in 'Romeo & Juliet.' He clearly is a hopeless romantic.



The he choose (for television) the kiss between Angel and Buffy at the end of season 2 when she has to run him through with a sword? [Note: I couldn't find a youtube clip of this]

My film choice was a classic of Noah & Aly in 'The Notebook.' Breaks my heart every time! "I wrote you everyday for a year" *cries*



My choice for television is tricky. I had a choice between Logan & Veronica in 'Veronica Mars' or Rachel & Ross. I went for the latter :)



Best Bromance:

Christopher went with Joey & Chandler



I went with House & Wilson- Love when Wilson steals his guitar and "Oh my God, you're sleeping with me!"



Best Cop Partnership:

Christopher went with some guys from 'The Shield' but considering I have never seen it, I didn't know who to search for.

My television couple were Brennan and Booth from 'Bones.' I love that they have really good chemistry but they are also really funny as well.



My favourate film cop partnership was Riggs and Murtaugh from the 'Lethal Weapon' films :) they are AWESOME



Best Pilot:

For this I can't really post youtube videos but I can tell you

Christopher choose 'The Shield' and I choose 'The Mentalist' Check them out

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