Yes, Okay, I don't write in this often. But you've got to admit, when I do, it's awesome :P
So I thought today I'd share with you all the current thoughts I think about just when I'm trying to get to sleep. I feel these are very revealing of a person- things you think about before sleeping say alot about the kind of things you want in life. Your last thoughts before you sleep are usually your hearts desire.
I keep thinking I should do more exercise. I lie in bed and think "I'm going to go running tomorrow" or "what time does the swimming pool open?" I ask these questions and convince myself that TOMORROW I will start, and it rarely happens. This is because of my Mum at the moment which makes me especially sad.
I think about my new university house and plan how I'm going to decorate it and move things around. I plan the pictures I'm going to order to be printed and how I'm going to make my little study into a haven for me. I think about how I'm going to get food to fill the fridge and then convince myself I'm not going to buy any biscuits/sweets.
In bed, I feel lonely alot of nights, especially more recently. I feel that everyone in my life comes in a pair or has a partner and I come as a single object which is alien to alot of people. I usually hug my pillow to try and trick my brain into thinking that I'm not so lonely, if even for a second. Beacause most of the time I'm not. During the day it's fine, I'm used to depending only on myself and being independent enough to do whatever I like. But at night, when I'm under the duvet and it's all dark, I wish there was somebody there so I would't have to keep checking wardrobes for monsters.
These thoughts don't show me to be the most sane of people but to be honest, who does think about sunshine and lollipops before they sleep? x
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